I have a sister, Jessi, that can walk up to anyone and start a conversation. I watched it happen time after time a few weeks ago. We were out at this bar (we are well of age, mind you), and she would wander off for maybe an hour at a time. For some, this would be worrisome, but we had some really great radar for Jessi and knew she was always just across the room. Anytime we looked up to check on her, she had made a new friend. Guys, girls, bartenders, waiters, DJs, the list goes on. It was amazing how they just followed her around after their conversation to continue talking to her.
My sister Alyssa and I watched this go on for maybe two hours. We couldn't believe she made so many different friends. As the DJ played her favorite Bruno Mars song, she wandered back to dance with us. We took advantage of her return and said, "Jessi! How are you doing this? You have walked up to half the people in this room and they love you. Want are you saying to them?" She said, "oh that's simple. Ready? 'Hi, how you guys doing tonight?'"
Seriously? That's it?
Yes. It's that easy. The best way to start a conversation is to step up to the person and introduce yourself. Once you've made that step its all downhill.
Another aspect of this step outlined in I Heart Recruitment is remembering their name. If you're like me, when you introduce yourself to someone at school or work, you suddenly black out for just the right amount of time to completely miss what they said their name was. Take a lesson from Chris Traeger from TV show Parks and Recreation. He greets everyone he sees by saying their first and last name.
Okay, please don't take that literally. But, something to learn from good ole Chris is that he can greet anyone, because he listens to their name. Slow down, and listen.
Beyond this first interaction, it gets way easier. Just BE A PERSON! When you make a friend, do you follow that up with ignoring them for the rest of your life? No, you contact them to hang out. Include these new women when you're making plans for the weekend. Consider their interests and see if they fit in with your plans. If they don't, a text can always go a long way. They just might have an interest in something you've always wanted to try.
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