Image and Reputation Week: Knees

Halloween is here. The time has come for girls to break out the hooker heels and fishnets and pretend they are going for a "conservative kitten" costume. Let me warn you about your short hemlines:

You are the face of your sorority!

Stepping down from my soapbox... give me a second. 

No matter what day of the year it is, I urge you to remember you are representing your organization 24/7. Halloween, among all of the holidays throughout the year, is one of the most important days to set your reputation. This is a day that is dedicated to costumes, drinking, and dancing while you're in college. Everyone is congregating at parties on campus and off campus. Booze is flowing, and before you know it you are tempted to dance on a table and stick your tongue out like Miley. Well, look how well that turned out for her. Sure she is getting more attention from the media, but is it really the kind of attention you and your sorority deserve? 

Having attended several Halloween parties in my undergrad days, and trying on several slutty costumes, I can attest you will have so much more fun if your butt is not hanging out of your too-short skirt all night. You won't have anything to apologize for in the morning. You won't have unflattering pictures to answer to in the morning. Pictures, I might add, your future employers and your mother will find no matter how hard you try to hide them. 

On every other day of the year, you don't have to think about the cat ears you might wear and how they will clash with your leather hotpants. But you should still keep in mind the clothing you wear and what it says about you. At an interview, for instance, you don't want to show up with your legs hanging out there in all of their glory. Make sure to be conscious of the length of your skirt. Try it on, and practice sitting in it. Practice walking up stairs in it. Make sure it covers all essentials, and I would recommend it touch your knees. 

When you sit in said skirt, whether it is your recruitment outfit or your perfect interview suit, pay attention to what happens when you cross your legs or ankles. Does the skirt get too tight? Does it gap? These are things you will think about in the moment and become distracted by if you don't test it out first. 

Be prepared. Be modest. You'll be more comfortable in the moments that count. 

Image and Reputation Week: Shoulders

"Sit up straight!"

How many times have your heard that from your mom, grandmother, aunt, etc? This harping on your posture is honestly for your own good. As a woman in my mid-twenties I am starting to see why I was told to push my shoulders back and hold my head up.

Its about two things: Confidence and your health.

People, namely women, are looked at as unconfident when they slouch. They are literally caving in, into themselves. When your body is telling you to cave in, it makes it so much harder for you to stand up and impress.

Try sitting up as if you are trying to touch your shoulder blades together, and watch your brain and your body start to wake up. As you talk to your interviewer or a PNM at Recruitment, try turning your shoulders squared towards them. You'll actively engage in conversation far better than you would with bad posture.

Image and Reputation Week: Head

We've all heard the phrase, "she's got a good head on her shoulders." Whenever you hear that, you know someone respects your level-headedness and responsibility. Let's take that saying a step further, shall we? 

As you travel through life, let's be real: your head does the majority of the work. Your head is capable of all 5 senses. It protects that big, beautiful brain of yours. Your ears are there to listen to criticisms, praise, and stories from good friends. Your eyes help you see all the beautiful things about the world. Your mouth can either set you up for success, or get you in trouble. But what is your head saying about you? What first impressions are you giving potential sisters, bosses, and boyfriends? 

The following are my thoughts on how to give your best first impression, focusing only from the neck up. 

Hair

I have curly hair. For the majority of my childhood I could not understand why my hair wouldn't lay flat like the "pretty girls" in school. So, I would brush it over and over until I achieved something that looked like a triangle. Close enough! NOT. 

Clearly, I had some self esteem issues.. and was horribly confused about where my curly hair came from. Embrace the nature of your hair. If you are not blessed with perfect locks, don't spend all your time trying to imitate the same look as the most popular person you know. Spend some time getting to know your hair. What works? What doesn't? (cough cough, brushing out your curls to a delta shape) You don't need to spend a ton of money on special products. Get together with some sisters and play dress up. Its more fun than simply watching TV or going to the same bar you went to last week and the week before. 

People notice crazy hair styles, and its not always a good thing. Don't be a triangle-head or Over-processed Olivia. Spend some quality time getting to know your luscious locks.  

Eyes

Eye contact. Heard of it? Thought so. In interview situations, eye contact is major. When you can't look someone in the eye, they could think several things:

1. This is weird. Why is she being weird?
2. Does she think she's better than me? 
3. Is she lying? Coming up with the right answer?
4. She's embarrassed. 

The list could go on and on. When you're on an interview, or recruiting new members, you don't want your conversation partner to be distracted by your eyes. You want them to be connected because of your eyes. 

Practice with with girls in your bumping group. Don't forget to blink. That is also really creepy. 

Face

Recruitment is not a time to try something new when it comes to make-up. Always try to go for a natural look. You are spending a lot of time face-to-face with a perfect stranger. They don't know your blue eyeshadow is a new hue you're trying out. They think you always look the way you do when they first meet you. Be the best representation of yourself. And that means:

• Dab a little concealer under your eyes to reduce the blue tint from late nights studying. 
• Cover blemishes as best you can with concealer, but don't get crazy. That can come off looking cakey and dark. Everyone gets blemishes, so she'll understand if you have a little break out. 
• If you're not an eye makeup kind of gal, try out a little mascara to help your eyes seem more awake. Recruitment is tiring, and any help looking less like a zombie will be welcome. 
• If you are an eye makeup kind of gal, stick with an eye shadow that goes with your eye color. Blue eyes pop with brown/gold eye shadow. Brown eyes look great with a light purple or gold eye shadow. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT wear blue eye shadow. This is not the 80's. It won't look as good as you want it to. Sorry, not sorry. 
• Use a pink-hued blush to give yourself a little color on your cheek bones. I revert back to my zombie comment from earlier... you'll want a little more help looking alive. 
• Keep those lips from drying up from all that talking by keeping a small tube of lipgloss in your pocket for in-between recruitment rounds. Not everyone can pull off red lipstick, but I would be willing to bet MOST people can pull off a little shimmery medium pink lip gloss. Try it! 

Beyond the make-up, pay attention to what your face does on its own. Have you heard the term "bitchy resting face"? I know, its horrible. But that doesn't make it untrue. When you are having a short reprieve from talking to PNMs, be careful not to look around the room and scowl. No matter what you and the person next to you are complaining about (my feel hurt, when is this round over? I'm starving!), keep a slight smile glued on your face. Not a scary joker grin, but something that doesn't look like you want to stab someone. Give yourself the opportunity to laugh, smile, giggle, and be generally delighted to be surrounded by your sisters. 

Ears

Do yourself a favor and get out of your head. Be present in your interview or recruitment conversations. You'll be forced to remember details later when you're scoring the girl you spoke to, or if you get called into a second interview for that dream job. You don't want to go blank when you remember back to this one on one conversation. Listen. Actively listen.

Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes...

Knees and toes. Sorry, I couldn't resist!

This Saturday, I'll be hosting an Image/Appearance and Reputation Workshop for the chapter I advise. The Vice President of Recruitment has asked me to speak during their scheduled Recruitment Meeting on the importance of first impressions, and how to dress for a successful recruitment. I realize this could sound incredibly vain and shallow, but hear me out. Appearance is not just how you look, but how you are perceived. Formal Recruitment in its nature is an incredibly shallow process, and first impressions are super important. I'm not dogging your local Panhellenic system, I'm only saying it is a very quick time to talk someone into a very serious commitment.

This week, I will be using this blog as a sounding board for some ideas regarding the workshop. I'm calling it "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes: How to Give a Great First Impression". I will cover clothing, make-up, attitude, body language, and reputation.

Let me know your thoughts! I want this workshop to be successful for everyone involved. I'm no expert, but I have been through over 10 Recruitments in the past 7 years. I also worked in Human Resources for a year. Hopefully that gives me some credibility.

Sorority Crafting Sundays: Sorority Bow Scarf

Let me say this about knitting a scarf with medium weight worsted yarn: it is not a race, its a marathon. Set aside some serious down time for this project. But, it is absolutely worth the effort! 

     1. Make a slipknot at the start of your purple yarn. 

     2. Cast on an odd number of stitches. For the width of my scarf, I chose 25 stitches. 

     3. Knit to the desired length of your scarf. I worked with the seed stitch for this scarf, alternating knit 1, purl 1 across each row. The odd number of stitches will result in you starting with a knit stitch and ending with a knit stitch. My scarf is 40 inches long. 

     4. Cast off the last row and leave a long tail of yarn at the end. Knot and set aside. 

     5. Tie a slipknot in the start of your yellow yarn. 

     6. Cast on the same number of stitches as your purple scarf. For my bow, I cast on 25 stitches in width. 

     7. Repeat the pattern from #3 (knit 1, purl 1), until you achieve the desired width of your bow. You'll know you have the size bow you want by folding the knit over as you knit and pinching it in the center. My bow is about 14 inches long, 7 inches when folded over. 

     8. Cast off all stitches on your final row, leaving a long tail of yarn. 

     9. Using the long tail of yarn, fold your purple scarf over and stitch the two ends together with a yarn needle. Tie the end off. It should look something like this...

     10. Repeat step #9 on your yellow knit piece. It should look something like this...

     11. One last slipknot, to create the center of the bow. 

     12. Cast on the desired width of the center of your bow, making sure it is an odd number. For my bow, I cast on 5 stitches. 

     13. Knit the seed stitch until you achieve a length that can stretch around the width of the box and scarf. For instance, my bow center piece was 7 inches long. 

     14. Line up your seams. 

     15. Lay your bow piece on the scarf, matching up the seams. 

     16. Using your bow center piece, gather the bow in the center and wrap the long piece around both the bow knit piece and the scarf. 

     17. Turn over the scarf, and stitch the ends of the bow center together, binding the bow and scarf together. It doesn't have to look pretty since it will be on the inside of the scarf. 

You did it! How cute do you feel, you cuddly snowman, you?!

Sorority Bow Scarf Supplies

Sorority Bow Scarf

A low of 43 degrees in October here in the South? Go home, Georgia. You're drunk.   

While we wait for the weather to make more sense, let's get to knitting. My mother taught me how to knit 2 years ago. With a ton of practice, I'm actually making a little money on this hobby. Several sisters have come to me wanting scarves and head warmers. Start yourself a little business. Make some snack money. Have fun!

I found this image on Pinterest, and felt inspired. DISCLAIMER: This is not a picture of the finished scarf... or anyone I know. Yay internet searches!

Here's what you'll need:

• 1 skein of worsted, medium weight yarn in purple
• 1 skein of worsted, medium weight yarn in gold
• Size US 8 knitting needles
• Scissors

Time: 2 hours

Snuggle up and get to knitting! 

#GeorgiaDeephersOnTop !!

I'm sorry, please indulge me. I am over the MOON. My undergrad chapter, Alpha Epsilon at Kennesaw State University just won Homecoming! These women work hard, play hard, and don't mess around when it comes to showing pride for our organization.

Here are some of the entries from this week's competitions.

Lip Sync Competition

Yell Like Hell Competition

Banner Competition

Parade Float Competition

Proud to be a DPhiE!

Sorority Crafting Sundays: Sorority Mascot Hoodie

Halloween is on its way. After this craft, you'll be ready for all those dress-up sisterhood events. Plus, you'll be super comfy!

     1. Gather your favorite fabric scraps for the mane and tail. The more patterns, the better. 

     2. Measure and cut strips from your fabric scraps. My strips were 7" tall x 2" wide. Cut about 20 strips in total. 

     3. Measure from the crown to the base of the neck on the hood of your sweatshirt. Leave room on your hood for a horn and bangs in the front. My hood measured 16 inches. Using some scrap ribbon, measure 16" (or the length of your hood) and cut.

     4. Using your cut scraps of fabric, tie each one to the ribbon. Leave .5" at the start and end of the ribbon to sew it to the hood. 

     5. When you've finished tying on the scraps, it should look something like this. 

     6. Sew the ends of your ribbon of scraps to the hood of your sweatshirt by hand or a sewing machine. Using a needle and thread, use a whipstitch to secure the rest of the ribbon to your hood. When you're done, you'll have a mane. 

     7. Using a contrasting color fabric, measure the length of your horn. Mine was about 8" tall. You don't want it to be too tall or it will become heavy and tilt to the side. Cut straight across. 

     8. Fold the fabric in half, with the dull side on the outside. Sew across it at a diagonal, from the top right corner to the bottom left corner. Cut the excess fabric off. 

     9. Turn the horn right side out, and stuff with your polyfil stuffing. 

     10. Using a needle and thread, hand stitch the horn to the space left at the top of the hood.

     11. I had left over scraps, so I decided to add bangs to the front of my hood. Simply stack your scraps and fold them over so they are 1/2 as long. Fan them out a bit so they cover more space, and sex them along the folded edge. Attach them in front of the horn on the hood and sew across. 

     12. The final step! Using the remaining fabric, cut longer thicker strips. Mine were 3" wide and 12" long. Stack the strips so the top edge lines up. Fold over the top edge, and sew across to make an even seam. Sew this even seam to the bottom of your sweatshirt. Now, you have a tail!

And there you have it! I told you it looks ridiculous. I'm so excited to wear this to chapter on Tuesday, and my next Halloween party. 

Sorority Mascot Hoodie Supplies

Sorority Mascot Hoodie 

I'm warning you now. This craft is too ridiculous for those of you who aren't 100% devoted to your sorority's mascot. We Dphie's have the unique honor of calling the UNICORN our International mascot. This is a fact I love, and sport unicorns whenever possible. 

Tomorrow we will make a Unicorn Mascot Hoodie together! 

Here's what you'll need:

• Hoodie
• Sewing Machine (you could use hot glue, but it won't last long and you can't wash it)
• Polyfil Stuffing
• Fabric Scraps in Purple and Gold
• Scrap ribbon
• Matching thread

Time: 1 hour

Yesssssss! This will be so fun!

Keep Your Heels, Head, & Standards High

As an outsider looking in, I have the gift of hindsight. When I was an undergrad, there were only two sororities on campus. The same two sororities for at least 19 years. Founded in the same year on that campus. Constantly compared to each other. We were pinned against each other from the start. Being that I live in Georgia, and this particular sorority was founded in the South, they always seemed to come out on top. Recruitment was a breeze for them. They were so well known, women attended KSU to be in that chapter.

Delta Phi Epsilon held our own, but for a while we were really struggling. We wouldn't make quota, and didn't have the best chapter image. And what did we do? We judged our opponent, and judged them hard. When they won competitions, we would say really catty things about them and hate on them extensively. It wasn't pretty, but it made us feel better for not being everyone's #1 favorite.

Well, now the high heel is on the other foot. In five years, Delta Phi Epsilon has risen to the top of the pyramid. Among five sororities now on KSU's campus, my sisters are the vision of a thriving chapter. Making quota, killin' it with events, and working their butts off to compete in Homecoming events.

Problem: When one rises to the top, everyone will scramble to make them fall down. To that, I say good luck.

This is a problem I'm sure many campuses face. I urge my sisters at KSU, and the women of other chapters on that campus to please practice tactful sportsmanship. Be better women (we once were in their shoes) than those who slander, gawk, and make fun of achievements and shortcomings.

To my DPhiE sisters, hold your heads high and the standards of excellence expected of you even higher. Be sportsmanlike and beautiful. Be kind. I have learned in my experience of being everyone's last pick sorority to the sorority conquering every Homecoming and Greek Week that cattiness does not take you far. Clap for your fellow Panhellenic sisters even if you think they don't deserve the recognition. Give them zero reasons to want to knock you down.

I'm proud of my chapter at KSU. These women have shown me what PRIDE in your chapter should look like. It looks like a group of women who goes hard to achieve nothing short of the best. It looks like a group of women who do not publicly mock other sororities when they succeed. I believe their strength, kindness, and determination motivate me to be a better alumnae sister.

Book Review: I Heart Recruitment - Who Does All This?

We used to say something in my chapter when I was a collegian. 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. I had no idea there was a factual principle out there that supports this. Its called the Pareto Principle, also known as the law of the final few.

We always used this rule when we thought about how an event would turn out. That 20% of the chapter would be involved in the planning. The blood, sweat, glitter and tears. And 80% of the chapter would reap the benefits, or choose not to attend at all.

As a chapter, I challenge you to stop leaning on the coordinators and leadership team to carry the load. In I Heart Recruitment's chapter, "Who Does All This?"they pose a great question most readers would ask. Is this all more work for the Recruitment Coordinator? The books states, and I agree, that in practicing the techniques and ideas in this book the job of Recruitment Coordinator will be lessened. The work will begin to get done all by itself.

In believing in and practicing dynamic 365 days a year Recruitment, your chapter will be strengthened and vitalized.

So reach out to a stranger, create a recruitment roundtable of all kinds of sisters, and communicate the values of your letters. Watch your chapter grow!

Book Review: I Heart Recruitment - Repeat

Plans don't become effective overnight. There is no magic genie waiting in your chapter room to grant you three wishes. You betta work. 

I love what the authors of I Heart Recruitment say, "Practice makes permanent". In order to truly catalyze change in your chapter, you have to keep at it. 

An excellent idea, and one I'm planning on trying out at the chapter I advise, is to create a roundtable. This group can be ANYONE in the chapter, not just those with positions. Think about the women who ran for positions and didn't get elected. They have all of this raw untapped energy and ideas going to waste. Employ those women in a roundtable discussion about recruitment. 

I think what we'll try is create an optional meeting inviting women passionate about recruitment to discuss the challenges and possible plan for future recruitment efforts. No I didn't say a mandatory meeting. Mandatory implies it will be governed by people in positions. Optional implies the people in the room will make the magic happen. Try it out. You won't have a giant turn out, but the people who want to be there will be more inclined to speak up and bring new ideas. 

Sorority Crafting Sundays: Chevron Sorority Canvas

This one takes pretty much an entire afternoon, due to dry time. Make sure you have time to lay on a coat of paint and walk away for a bit. Here we go!

     1. Using your painters tape, spell out your sorority's Greek letters in the center of the canvas. Curved letters are difficult, but not impossible. 

     2. Paint over the entire canvas with your lightest color paint. The finished layer should look something like this. I painted my canvas with 3 coats of gold paint to get the smooth finish you see here. 

     3. Once your first color of paint is COMPLETELY dry, begin to tape out your chevron print. I'm sure there are very calculated and scientific ways to do this, but I went with a mixture of measuring and eyeballing it. Measure the width of the tape you are using, and make sure to leave exactly that much room in between rows. Use a straight edge or measuring tape to keep the points of your chevron in line across the canvas. 

     4. When you are finished taping, it should look something like this. 

     5. Using your darker contrasting color paint, cover the entire canvas with at least 3 coats. Paint over the tape, but be careful not to lift the tape as you paint. It leads to smudging and your lines won't be as crisp.

     6. When the paint is dry and you're feeling very brave, begin to peel the layers of tape off. Do this step very slowly. Some paint has a little elasticity and could stretch while you peel, leaving strange stringy strips of paint all over your new masterpiece. 

Voile! Your work of art is complete. Feel free to add any touchups as needed. Maybe add a sweet bow to the top, or some glitter to the letters. This is yours to make your own.